my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
