i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
