How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
