I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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