i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize