Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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