She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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