Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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