this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
