Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
