Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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