Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
