I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize