I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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