Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
