Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
