Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
