Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
