I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
