Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
