guys are not supposed to queef...right?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Semen is not good for contacts.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
