is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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