Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
