her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
