I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize