I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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