either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
