Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
