i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
