Your face is a jimmy john
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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