There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
