When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
