Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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