like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
