dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
