Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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