Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
