He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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