she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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