I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
