You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have demons in me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Damn victory sex feels great
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
