I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
