Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
