Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
