Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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