Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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