I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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