your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
