I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
