I'd wear matching sweaters with you
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
