if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
