I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
