i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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