i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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