he puts the penis in happiness.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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