I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
