We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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