I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
