I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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