Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
