somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
why do cheetos always look like penises
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
