i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
