so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am available for nakedness
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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