I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I love having hate sex.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
