entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize