try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
