Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just want to make out with him forever
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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