the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
