we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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